The National Hamster Wheel

Compared to the last 3000 years of documented civilization, our American culture runs at nearly the speed of light. We are obsessed with the instantaneous "now," and we seem, in general, to have lost both all tolerance for waiting and the virtue of patience.

Only warp speed will do for us in every instance, and our impatience has warped our relationship to natural time. Do these sound familiar?

• Internet connections - fast, faster, fastest, please.
  
• Immediate communication by texting, faxing, phoning, emailing.
  
• Global jet travel in a day.
  
• Overnight delivery service to/from anywhere.
  
• Drive-through coffee, meals, laundry, funeral homes and churches.
  
• "Slow" lanes of traffic racing at 75 mph.
  
• Digital technology displaying photos in one nanosecond.
  
• Instant music via downloads, instant Googled information on any subject, instant location via GPS.
  
• "Vacations" that take us to 7 countries in 10 days and leave us confused, lagged, exhausted (and broke).
  

I'm surprised we haven't yet found a way to shorten pregnancy, like dry cleaning, to one-hour Martinizing gestations..(probably some researcher is hard at work on this, too).

I have to wonder how much of the beauty and wonder of Life we miss by living at this breakneck pace. How can we savor the joy or learn from the pain of each experience if we've moved onto the next before we've reflected on and assimilated THIS one?

Certainly in America we've reduced the pleasure of sweet anticipation to a flash and a flurry of to-do lists. Actually, in the case of the Christmas season, we've become so impatient that the celebration itself pre-empts the time of anticipation.

I've done my share of complaining about the Catholic church (notably HERE), but this is one facet of life they've gotten right. The church year is divided into liturgical seasons, each with its allotted time, purpose and flavor. This past Sunday marked both the beginning of the church year and the start of the season of Advent -- four Sundays of thoughtful and prayerful preparation before Christmas -- NOT to be confused with the 20+ remaining shopping days.

We all know that our American Christmas celebration (or holiday season, if you prefer) has become an orgiastic exercise in decorating/buying/giving/singing/partying that has little to do with any religious celebration. In fact, any religious connection is officially and vehemently prohibited by all levels of government -- rightly or wrongly. Just as the ancient winter solstice celebration was co-opted by the Christian Christmas, that season of celebration has been twisted and tortured into the Festival of Spending and Santa so dear to our national heart.

Our calendars are so filled with activities this time of year that by necessity we begin to celebrate "Christmas" immediately after Thanksgiving in order to fit everything in...(and Thanksgiving tumbled into our lives still dressed in Halloween costume, which fell into our laps right after Labor Day, which exploded from the sky the fifth of July, which was still colored red, white and blue from Memorial Day, when we were still eating leftover Cadbury bunny eggs....). To be sure, this frantic pace is fueled by retail marketing and a ravenous economy, but we fall in line like the good little credit-card-wielding robots we all are... and whatever meaning each holiday contains is reverenced for a full five minutes before we turn to the next. (Does the "day after Christmas sale beginning at 5 a.m." OR "buy a new car for the New Year" ring a chime with you?) In traditional terms, there really ARE 12 days of Christmas, 40 days of Lent, 50 days of Easter, and these four beautiful weeks of Advent.

To my knowledge, every major world religion -- and most of the contemporary, trendy feel-good, I-love-ME spirituality/pseudo-philosophies -- center around or at least include in their practice some form of meditation, contemplation, prayer or thoughtful silence. Whether these movements encourage union with an Other, with the "universe," with our own subconscious or linty little navel, the purpose is certainly to withdraw for a time FROM time and reflect on Someone/something deeper than the hamster wheel that is our life.

Short-term and long-term memory differ greatly in physiologic function and results and are still under investigation. My friend Wikipedia has a few interesting things to say about it HERE.

Briefly, short-term memory, our "working" memory, has very limited capacity and really IS short in duration (under a minute). It is used as both a collection point for new data and the retrieval mechanism for old data. Long-term memory requires "the process of rehearsal and meaningful association." In other words, we need to both anticipate an event then reflect on our experience of it in order to preserve it.

In my view, we have been so thoroughly indoctrinated to "live in the now" that we've lost touch with the thrill of anticipating the future. We're so eager to turn to the next event that we rarely have time to savor what we just experienced. We've come to rely on home video and thousands of photos to serve as our memories, instead of letting each lovely minute gently build a permanent mosaic of sight, sound, scent and scene -- with those stories of remembrance passed on to succeeding generations. Instead of creating that permanent mosaic, however, we're settling for a kaleidoscope of fleeting impressions that will fade all too soon, leaving only a flicker of colored light behind.

This refusal to anticipate and reflect doesn't apply to only the celebrations of our American culture but also to our refusal to learn from history -- to think that we are each inventing ourselves, our life, moment by moment, disassociated from anything previous and giving nothing to those who toddle in our footsteps. I see our culture as trying to consciously break its bonds with our collective past and unkown, risky future in favor of the new and the now.

One of the most obvious and hackle-raising cliches from the sixties is "stop and smell the roses." Even Ringo Starr sang (badly) about it HERE. It may be the phrase with the most overworked 20 letters in the English language, but it also contains one of the most powerful and enduring concepts of our human past and future.

So...happy Advent. Stop and smell the pine, the cinnamon, ginger and nutmeg, and think for a minute (or hour) what this season may mean to you. Slow down your own little hamster wheel and remember past holidays -- the good and the bad of them -- and anticipate whatever joy you expect to find in this one to come.

I'm forced by my family's calendars to celebrate an early grandkids' Christmas party this Friday, but I promise I'm putting away my hamster wheel just as soon as those dishes are done.

Stress 101 Cliff Notes

Except for a Trappist monk or Carmelite nun, I live probably the most stress-free life in America...seriously. It's a state I've cultivated and nurtured for the last 14 years, since life in the corporate world pushed my blood pressure up to Himalayan levels, and it was either reduce the stress or call the Garden Of Memories for their next available plot.

I'm certainly not in the advice business...since I refuse to take it from anyone else, I'm in no position to give it. I am, however, going to list a few things that I think have qualified me to write the opening sentence of this posting. Like anything else worthwhile in life, stress reduction takes some thought, planning and a few conscious decisions... plus time to actually make these changes happen. Some of them may work for you -- others you may think are completely nuts and, by association, that I'm a complete nutcase. I may be... but I'm a non-stressed-out nutcase. So there.

Job stress? I quit my job and started a profitable home business. It's possible... millions are doing it and more join the ranks every day. In one sweet fell swoop I eliminated "the boss" by becoming one. I work my own hours, the money I bring in is MY money, not some corporation's, my jammies are my work clothes and my 24-foot commute doesn't require a drop of $3.50/gallon gas. There are a few downsides, but stress isn't one of them. For me, the benefits have been incredible.

Financial stress? I've learned to live to my needs, not my wants. This doesn't mean I don't dally on ebay and Amazon, but reducing my consumption of "stuff" and slipping down a rung or two on the lifestyle ladder have been good in more ways than financially. This was also a package deal for me -- cutting back on buying also means cutting back on shopping -- which is a HUGE stressor for me. I know it's recreational and even a necessity for a lot of women, but I'm not one of 'em.

Noise stress. After eliminating from my life the unethical assholes I worked for, this was the second most important stressor, but one of the hardest to achieve. This may not apply to anyone else, but I suspect I'm not the only one whom noise makes crazy...if you don't agree, maybe you just don't realize its impact. Noise is EVERYWHERE. I'm convinced that our hunter/gatherer brains are not hardwired for all the input we receive every single minute of the day, unless we consciously control it. I DVR every single thing I watch on TV - no exception. And before God wrought the DVR, I VCR'd everything, primarily to skip the horrendous burden of commercials. Remember the good old days when a commercial break meant one or two ads, just time enough to grab a Hostess cupcake from the kitchen? Now there can be up to 10 ads during each break, and a break every 3 minutes, each with its own mind-numbing music/graphics/narration/video. I miss it all -- and it only delays my (questionable) viewing pleasure for 15 minutes, or so. Now if I could just figure out how to block out the canned music in every single store, restaurant and elevator in the world.

People stress. Nancy Reagan had this one right.. I just say NO. It wasn't hard to learn and I didn't even need to practice it in front of a mirror. N. O. No thanks. No, I'm sorry. I'd really like to, but No, I can't. This may be one of the occasions in life where a little lie is okay for the greater good. This one works for me because I'm a hard-core introvert -- extroverts may not ever be able to say no to social occasions or companionship, but I find it easy and necessary. No thanks, I already have plans that day/night/weekend/year. No. Thanks, but no. (Note: This works exceptionally well with telemarketers and other phone solicitors.)

Diet and Exercise -- yeah, you see it everywhere because it's true. Eating well and exercising regularly WORK to help reduce stress. I'm not even tempted by fast food restaurants, and I have so much guilt about eating other junk food that it's just not worth it. I'm not an exercise freak, but I do manage to walk 2-3 miles a day at least five times a week. You just can't beat those little endolphins.

Sleeping...is a problem for many of us, me included, but sleeplessness contributes to daily stress. You certainly don't want to be around cranky me after a bad night. Hypnosis has helped, as do prescription medications. I'm still up a couple of hours at night, but since this has been going on since 1984 I think it just might be chronic. Thank you, God, for pharmaceuticals.

Stress about national/world current events. This is a toughie. I want to stay informed, but "being informed" also means I must read and watch all of the horrific and sleazy occurrences of our daily lives. So, I turn off the news about every three weeks and leave it off for awhile -- catching only headlines online. My political activism and idealism years are behind me, and all that evil and scary stuff does get to me. I call this my ostrich plan -- and while it may be foolish and socially irresponsible, it does reduce my stress. This is the opposite of apathy -- I really care too much about issues and events, but I'm not convinced that worrying about things I can't influence or change does any good, anyway. For those things I can't ignore, I have this blog. (It's free and easy therapy.)

Well, that leaves holiday stress. This holly-jolly season must be near the top of the list of stress-inducers since I've already seen three online articles addressing this problem, and it's not even December yet. Those articles all talked about the things I've already managed above -- with just a few exceptions. My lights get tangled like everyone else's, and all the fattening holiday food is a constant temptation. I get really tired of all the BAD Christmas music that saturates the atmosphere everywhere I go. (Where is it written that every third-rate celebrity must produce an album of Christmas songs? I don't remember seeing "Trigger Taps Out Holiday Melodies" when I was a kid.)

I guess, as in many other aspects of life, the blessed perspective of age itself is a stress-reducer... priorities are clearer, and fewer responsibilities make the holidays lighter. This is one of those times when I wouldn't be 30 again for anything, with all the inherent stress those young-family years include. It's nice now to be "Grandma" and one generation removed from Santa's stand-in.

Now if someone would only invent a non-veggie appetizer with no calories and no fat grams that tasted like, I don't know....yummy food.

Day Eight - 30 Creative Days Hath November

'tis The Season Already

When they finally finish the Human Genome Project and all of our genes have been mapped, named, catalogued, labeled and filed for reference, I know they're going to discover one they'll name "SH 01" -- the shopping gene. The reason I know this is I definitely do NOT have it. It must be located around the same strand of DNA as the herd or flock gene, because I don't have that one, either.

As Joni Mitchell sings, "It's coming on Christmas - they're cutting down trees - they're putting up reindeer..." which in truth means the beginning of Christmas shopping...and of course means the absolute impossibility of buying anything that isn't related to Christmas...like a witch hat or black cauldron for a Harry Potter party.

I do realize that Halloween was seven whole days ago, and I do know all about just-in-time inventory and the need to maximize retail shelf space to grab every consumer dollar, blah, blah, blah. I also know that with the advent of the megastores, there's no such thing as a dusty back room where merchandise that was popular a mere week ago can still be found.

Retailers have become ridiculous in their frantic anticipation of each holiday. Who can possibly be in the mood for Halloween stuff over the Labor Day weekend? You can bet that you'll see Valentine cards on the shelves by January 2nd and Easter candy on February 15th.

I have no idea where seasonal stuff now goes post-season. Probably with the lost socks, keys and earrings of the world -- into some black hole or 12th dimension physicists haven't yet discovered.

Am I the only person who has ever needed a witch hat the week after Halloween?

Come to think of it, I seem to spend a whole lot of time trying to find things that have their own unique sales period and which then vanish from the material world afterwards... things like a swimsuit in January or cozy bedroom slippers in July.

I've thought for years that a chain named "Procrastinations" would be a good idea -- a place where you could go and actually find a sweater in mid-summer or a beach bag before Easter. Even living on the California coast (where you really NEED a sweater in the summer and have some of the warmest, beachiest days in March,) it's impossible to find items considered by Midwestern chain store marketers to be seasonal.

I'm old enough to remember the home-grown hardware stores, the independent department stores, the "drug stores" with the real soda fountain and no music overhead -- those institutions that have gone to their collective grave, buried by you-know-who and here-comes-what.

I remember the grownup clerks who actually worked in one store for longer than a Christmas season, knew where to find stuff, counted change into your hand the old-fashioned way and actually said "thank you" to a customer. I'm sure one of THEM would have offered to look in their spidery cellar for a witch hat and cauldron a week after Halloween, instead of flashing their employee badge at me and saying, "it's my first day, I dunno." Good old Mabel or Harvey probably would have found them, too.

We're paying $3.48/gallon here now for regular gas, ($3.65 for premium) -- and at those prices and with all the aggravation that Christmas shopping causes a genetically-challenged non-shopper, I'm pretty sure I'm going to get to know my UPS guy very well this season.

Day Four - 30 Creative Days Hath November

Food For The Poor -- Food For The Soul

This time of year, especially, our mailboxes and emailboxes fill with requests from a thousand and one charities, all heart-rending, all worthy, all bringing their unique opportunities (and guilt) with them. We all have our favorites and (presumably) budget a portion of our income for at least some annual donations.

Last year our parish hosted a speaker from Food For The Poor, and I've never before been so touched and so compelled to donate as I was by this man, who is also a personal friend of the pastor. He is one of the founders of this organization and continues to live among the people he serves in the Caribbean area and Latin America, and his stories of the level of poverty and need were quite literally unbelievable... but, unfortunately, documented and true.

Compared to any third world country, and even to other industrialized nations, our standard of living in America is also unbelievable. We live in a culture and economy dedicated to serving our wants, not our needs. Our collective mantra is "more, more, more" and we are determined to fulfill that mantra as one of our inalienable rights. To be sure, some of us have smaller pieces of the possessions pie than others, but by any measure we all have way too much of everything.

With Halloween behind us, we've begun that rush down the holiday roller coaster when American consumerism peaks in a frenzy of schlepping, shopping and shipping. It's a boon to our economy, of course, with its infusion of over 100 billion dollars, and it's also part of the magic of Christmas. I believe in that magic, as American Express, MasterCard and Santa will attest to.

Still, I can't ignore the contrast between our obscene, convulsive, compulsive spending and the thousands of people a few hundred miles from our own shores who live without even clean water to drink.

They don't know it yet, but at our annual "Grandma's Christmas Party," one gift my grandkids will be taking home is a certificate that a donation to Food For The Poor will be made in their name -- equal in value to what Grandma has spent on them. They may not understand completely, but it will help to quiet that whisper in my mind.

Food For The Poor is the second largest international charity in the US and one of the highest-rated charities in the world, with 96% of their proceeds going directly to serving the poor. HERE is a link to their website, HERE is a statement of their finances, HERE are their endorsements and ratings, and HERE is their Christmas giving catalog. HERE is also a link for assistance for the victims of hurricane Dean that recently devastated the precise area FFTP serves.

I guess you can count this posting as one more appeal in your emailbox for charity.
Thanks for reading today.