The Land Of Ozzzzzzzzzzz

I sleep so much better at night now, knowing that the nation's Chief Executive Officer, with all his many years of executive experience, responsibility and business acumen, is at the helm of our ship of state.

What? He has no business experience? He has no impressive record of achievement and success? He's only had a couple of jobs besides running for office? How could that be?

Well, I sleep better at night knowing that General Motors and Chrysler, two of three companies forming the bedrock of our auto industry, are once again viable since their billion dollar loans. Whew! I'm so glad they escaped bankruptcy, which, we were assured in January, would send Chicken Little into the streets and completely devastate our weakened economy.

What? GM is now facing almost-certain bankruptcy after all? Wasn't keeping it OUT of bankruptcy the rationalization for the original government loans? Now it's the answer? Are you telling me that a constipated, bloated, overfed, overgrown organization like GM couldn't come up with a completely new, innovative and profitable business model in two months? The same company who hasn't come up with anything really new in 20 years? (I've seen a corporation 10,000 times smaller than GM not be able to come up with new letterhead in two months.)

Well, surely I'll sleep better knowing that our weary troops are coming home from Iraq. Thank God we won't be putting lives at risk and spending all those billions every month fighting in that troubled region.

What? We're escalating the war in Afghanistan and Pakistan? Really? After all that campaign rhetoric? Good grief! And we want to be friends with Iran? How does Israel feel about that?

At least I'll be sleeping better knowing that in this economic climate no reasonable, right-thinking, brilliant economics team would propose massive new government programs to solve every problem that exists in our society. Of course we're going to try to get back on our financial feet before we institute new health care reforms, education programs, paid volunteer programs and pay for all those little piggy earmarks. After all, we need a healthy economy with stable revenues before we wallow in all that pork, don't we? At least the "average American family" won't be facing new taxes. Thank goodness.

You're kidding. All that stuff is actually in the proposed budget -- while the whole world economy flounders like, well, a beached flounder? But only those who make $250,000 and up will be hit with a tax increase? Wait -- doesn't that mean most small business owners, who create 70% of new jobs? By all means, tax the investors, tax the job providers, tax the backbone of the economy.

I'll have to remember to set my alarm as I'll be sleeping so soundly knowing that members of Congress, our elected representatives who speak for us and act for us, will be on the job in Washington. They are all so trustworthy, intelligent, honest, ethical souls, aren't they? Look at how they all reacted to the AIG bonuses. They're my kind of folk.

No! You don't mean they actually took PAC money from the very corporations they loaned taxpayer money to then lambasted for their actions? Those nasty big businesses who honored their employment contracts and paid bonuses? Well, I guess a member of Congress has to be re-elected. We can't fault them. We don't seem to ever get rid of them, either.

Come to think of it, I haven't slept a wink since Election Day, 2008. I wonder why?